Getting Unstuck: Defense Mechanism Revealed

I journeyed to a challenging place yesterday. I went to see my Lower Self so they would reveal to me, help me understand and heal my defense mechanism I used to cope with my struggles with never having enough money.

This is an issue I rarely share with people, I pretend like everything’s OK because of my fears and limiting belief. I believed that as a self employed person I should never tell anyone that I struggle with making money. I feared that no one would want my business if they knew I was not a complete success.

The journey showed me what, why and how I got stuck.

I was shown I keep myself in a place of lack so I would be accepted by my family and friends. There was a fear of rejection as well as a deep need to be loved. I believed that if I got rich or successful I would no longer be able to be a part of my family circle. The message was stay small, ordinary and mediocre and you will be liked, loved and accepted. Don’t get too big.

All this was healed, transformed, thanked and honored for bringing me to this point but I am now ready to live out the healing and do the work.

A new mechanism was created, which I have stepped into and made part of me. I have a new set of beliefs around success and money. I am no longer afraid of rejection. I now believe the more I grow so will my circle of friends and family.

I have arrived at a place where I feel more grounded and open to be myself.

So thank you Lower Self for showing me the answers, the teachings and the profound healing.

So yes Lower Self “I will stop holding on to things”

Chi Meegwetch

Join my Fanny Pack Revolution!

Alternative Healers are often called Light Workers.

The Light usually referring to the energy we work with. But I see this title in a another light (hehe sorry for the pun).

I often hear from my clients when asked after a session how they feel they say, “Lighter”.

So yes I am a Light Worker. I help clients feel lighter. How? The work I do helps removes dark heavy energy from the energy bodies (Physical. mental, emotional and Spiritual). Also as importantly is how it bring into the light our past wounds, those painful and un-forgiven events that we are still carrying and holding on to. It is when we bring them into the light, we can heal them, learn from them and let them go.

If we see these wound as personal baggage we soon realize over time, long or short, that we have gathered more than we can carry, the load has become very heavy, almost unbearable.

As we all know as we move through life hurtful things can happen to us, and unless we deal with and heal them at that moment they tend to stick around.  We often store them some place and say we will take care of it at a later time.  But life tends to push us forward and we don’t do anything with the hurt but carry it with us.

Be simple, don’t carry the baggage of the past, open your hands, and let it go.
– Debasish Mridha

So does this sound familiar?

You carrying all these bags, perhaps you have so many that you now need cart to hold them all. You wonder why you feel so weighed down, not realizing how much you have accumulated, taken on, feel obliged to carrying. We don’t get them all at once since gradually added one at a time. Now unaware why you are finding it a challenge to move forward, to reach your goals or your dreams. You feel STUCK right? It’s because you haven’t realized how heavy the load has become.

So are your ready to get lighter? You know you don’t have to carry them anymore. It’s my passion, my duty as a healer you can say, to help and be of service to you all and support you to to drop those bags.

So let’s try on something new! I would like to inspire you to trade in all those heavy bags for a fanny pack.

Yes, a fanny pack! You remember those? Cheesy as they are, especially if you were a kid of the 80s and 90s, you’ll think so.  Funny thing is, they are making a come back AND I believe they are coming back for a purpose.

Fanny packs are great! They are light, carry just the essential and are hands free.

So if you are ready to join my fanny pack revolution, contact me, book a session to get started on lightening your load, free yourself from the past, get unstuck and fulfill your goals, dreams and live out your destiny. I would love to work with you, contact me today!.

DIVINE MUSINGS

Fanny Pack

by Jennifer Jasvinder Malisauskas

Fanny Pack
Oh Fanny Pack
You may be really wack
But you do more for me
Than any other accessory
You carry the small stuff
Stuff I can handle
Those big things have always been a gamble
Never knowing when they will stop me
When they will come out
Screaming and Shouting, victim erupt
You are light and usually tacky and bright
How I’ve always dreamed my life to be
Merry, fun, corny and full of serendipity!

Living my life as a Yo-Yo

“Whether or not you know it, you are looking for two things. First, for things to change. Second, for everything to remain the same. You can only have one.” ~ Pete Bernard

I came across this post on Facebook by my Shaman teacher Pete Bernard and it got me thinking. This is definitely why I am stuck and struggle in certain areas of my life. As I was thinking about it the thought of a yo-yo popped into my head. Wow, I live my life as a yo-yo.

Ya a Yo-Yo, as in the the toy!

yo-yo (ˈyōˌyō/)
noun: a toy consisting of a pair of joined discs with a deep groove between them in which string is attached and wound, which can be spun alternately downward and upward by its weight and momentum as the string unwinds and rewinds.

I feel safe when I come back to the hand and scared when I’m let go. I do at time get courageous and put myself out there. I have been working on overcoming my fears, doubts, limiting beliefs by doing the very things that scare me and keep stuck but I find myself easily retracing back to where I feel safe.

It’s my one step forward, three steps back pattern. A large part of me knows, sees and feels this old pattern when it’s happening. I know when I do it it doesn’t support me. I ask myself how can I evolve, grow, change, succeed and fulfill my dreams, if I keep running away back to that place where I believe I won’t get hurt.

Does retracting back up the string take more energy than rolling down it I wonder. I see it’s all my fears, doubts, worries, low self worth that propel me back up the string as it’s the excitement of my potential, my courage and dreams that help me ride down it.

So why do I keep going back up to that lovely hand? Is it my fear of living to my potential, or a form of self care?

I guess for that moment it’s scary, the unknown of just hovering there at the bottom of the string. It’s me letting myself be seen, being vulnerable, taking a risk, believing in myself. I’ve come to realize I haven’t let myself travel down the string very often so perhaps I’m just not good at it yet. Is it a question of just practicing, building my spiritual strength? Is coming back up my way of resting and recuperating for my next journey down?

Is does yo-yo resemble the ebb and flow of life? But if I stay in the hand longer than at the bottom of the string, I’m not in that flow. I’m not really a yo-yo anymore. Then it’s more of a question of Balance?

But thinking about what Pete says, “You can only have one.” So my options would be. I create a few knots along the string preventing me from ever rolling down again, unusable and unplayable, no thank you that would be letting my wounds win. Or I cut the string to never return to the safe hand? Is this the only way forwarding? To not be a yo-yo anymore.

LOL I’d just be a pair of joined wooden discs. Hmmm would that be so bad? I would be able to roll forward along a new path with nothing to pull me back. Now that’s interesting!

 

THE HAND

You hold me so close
Afraid to let me loose
Can’t you feel I want to go
To shed all that I know

As I fall I wonder where it will stop
As I move down I’m afraid of the drop
But as I hover and don’t spin
I can see everything that’s within

In that moment of stillness
I find and see my true likeness
But you pull me back up with a yank
A part of me reluctantly says thanks

As I climb quickly up away from this bliss
I have time to feel everything that I have missed
Now back in the so called safe place
I find it hard to pretend every things OK

Why don’t you cut me loose
What scares you so that you are unwilling to let go
You feel it’s easier to just put me away
And only pull me out when you are ready to play

Let’s cut the cord and start a fresh
We both know that it’s all for the best
The friendship we had wasn’t all that bad
I’ve learned so much with the time we had

Divine Musings ~ April 16, 2018

This was the day that I put pen to paper and trusted what came through. I was amazed how fluid things landed on the paper, not perfect but some are delightfully interesting.

 

CROSS
Invisible lines never to cross
Who made them you ask
Why you of course!

FLYING
Trees blow the breeze by
leaves go for a ride
All land before flying through the beautiful blue sky

LEARNING
Come now, come now
Why are you so sad
What makes you cry
What makes you ask why, oh why
It keeps happening, or yes it does
It will only stop when you learn the lessons and the cause

WORDS
Words scare me
Trouble putting then together
Afraid some will judge me
If I don’t do it their way

THE JESUS
Jesus was once a man
Who sailed through trouble waters
How did he do it, so peaceful and calm
Was he brighter than everyone, was he rich
Was he spoiled like someone’s bitch
No he was just brave, brave to be true to himself
Never fearing to not to be loved by someone else

THE BEACH
Am I not perfect
Perfect like a peach
Eat one and you’ll know
it’s sweet like a beach
Oh a beach, full of sand, sun and fun
Water always flowing in and out
Not caring who is about
Or why they have come
To sit, stand, and lie
It only cares to keep moving
but funny, it probably doesn’t know why